


A Little Plan

by JenTheSweetie



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, unbearable fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenTheSweetie/pseuds/JenTheSweetie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy doesn't like to leave the Enterprise.  Jim really, really wants him to.  Is this whole thing a conspiracy?</p>
<p>100% fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Plan

**Author's Note:**

> I actually can't believe how fluffy this is. I was dealing with some writer's block, and a friend made a joke about whether Jim would ever abuse his power as the captain to do romantic things for McCoy, and it kind of turned into the schmoopiest thing that has ever happened. I'm so sorry.

“Bones,” Jim said thoughtfully from the other side of the couch. “When was the last time you left the ship?”

“Hmm,” McCoy said, glancing up from his PADD and tilting his head. “I don’t know. It’s been a while.”

“You didn’t beam down last week at Ceti Omicron IV, did you?” He wiggled his feet in McCoy’s lap; McCoy took the hint and began to massage one of them half-heartedly.

“No,” McCoy said. “Wasn’t any need so far as I could tell. Spock and Sulu just collected a few plant samples and we were gone, weren’t we?”

“What about a few weeks ago, when we stopped in at Starbase 11, did you come down and visit the base?”

“Nope,” McCoy said. “That flu was going around, remember? I was up here making sure we weren’t dealing with an outbreak of the Terellian Plague while you and Spock had your little date planetside.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Don’t be too jealous - if that was a date, I feel bad for Uhura. Two days of unproductive talks with Bajoran dilithium miners didn’t exactly put me in the mood.”

“You seemed enough in the mood by the time you got back,” McCoy said wryly. “I’ve probably still got the bruises to prove it.”

“Oh yeah, that was when we - ”

“In the shower, yes,” McCoy said, pursing his lips to avoid smiling. “And no I won’t do it again right now so don’t even bother asking.”

“So, does that mean you haven’t been off the Enterprise since shore leave?”

“I suppose so,” McCoy said. “Been about a month since we left Earth by now, hasn’t it? Maybe I’ll go for a record – longest service on a starship without having to use a goddamn transporter or one of those accursed shuttlecraft. Think I’ll get a medal if I go the whole five years?”

“Probably not. So you _are_ doing it on purpose?” 

“Well, I’m not doing it _not_ on purpose. Anyway, all it takes is an order from you and my streak’ll be broken, may god have mercy on me. Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Jim said, going back to his book.

“Almost been long enough for me to forget we’re in space at all,” McCoy said cheerfully. “I’m sure you’ll find some way to nearly get us all killed and remind me soon enough, though.”

-

“Kirk to sickbay,” Jim’s voice came from the comm on McCoy’s desk. McCoy reached blindly for the comm from his position halfway inside the supply closet. “Bones, I need you on the bridge.”

McCoy flipped the comm open. “I’m here, Jim, but I’m right in the middle of a big inventory check. Is this an emergency?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a real emergency, or is it the kind of emergency where you’re just really bored?”

“Uh,” Jim said. “Definitely not the second one.”

McCoy sighed. “Jim.”

“C’mon, Bones. Just head up whenever you can. Kirk out.”

“Doctor McCoy?” Chapel stuck her head into the office. “I can finish inventory for you.”

“You hate inventory,” McCoy said. “Last week you said you’d rather fly into a sun going supernova than do another inventory check.”

Chapel shrugged. “Did I? You know, it doesn’t sound so bad today. I’m not doing anything else - why don’t you head up to the bridge?”

McCoy stood up, brushing off his hands. “Everybody around here twiddling their thumbs except me today?” he grumbled. “All right, I’m halfway through the melenex stores, and don’t forget to mark each hypo separately in the log – ”

“Got it, got it,” Chapel said, making a face. “See you later, Doctor McCoy.” As McCoy left sickbay, he felt Chapel’s eyes on the back of his head; when he turned around halfway out the door, he caught her staring at him, grinning, before the door slid shut in front of him.

“Everybody in this place has gone crazy,” he muttered to himself, stepping into the turbolift. When the doors opened to reveal the bridge, a sudden, unnatural hush came over the assembled crewmen, but before McCoy could open his mouth to comment on it, the regular noise on the bridge started up again. He shook his head as he stepped down to the captain’s chair; he must have imagined it.

“There you are,” Jim said, giving him a half smile as he approached.

“What’s the emergency, Jim?” McCoy asked, looking around the bridge. “Don’t seem like there’s a whole lot going on up here.”

“Emergency? Oh,” Jim said, waving a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about that, I’ll tell you later. Mr. Sulu, are we in orbit around Delta Rana IV?”

“Just about, Captain,” Sulu said from the helm, glancing over at Chekov, who was furiously punching in orders at tactical. Chekov nodded and sat back in his seat, and then Sulu said, “We’ve assumed orbit, sir.”

“Jim, I’ve got a _job_ , you know,” McCoy said, crossing his arms in exasperation as it became ever clearer that Jim had called him up here for no reason at all. “You’re my boss, in fact, loath as I am to admit it. Don’t you want me to be able to do that job?”

“Of course, of course,” Jim said, looking over his shoulder. Jim was easily distracted on a good day, and today did not appear to be a good day. “Sure, Bones.”

“So are you going to tell me why I came all the way here, or can I go back to sickbay now?”

“Captain,” Uhura said suddenly. “We’re receiving a distress call from the Earth settlement on Delta Rana IV.” She tilted her head and frowned. “They say they are experiencing earthquakes.”

“What’s the damage?” Jim asked, leaning back in his chair and staring straight ahead at the viewscreen.

“Reports are still coming in,” Uhura said.

“Any injuries?” McCoy asked, already mentally running through a checklist of what he would put in a medkit to prepare for the kind of injuries generally sustained in an earthquake, imagining triage stations, calculating how many personnel they could spare.

“Can we get a visual, Mr. Chekov?” Jim said.

“Pulling it up now, sir,” Chekov said, his fingers flying over his terminal. The viewscreen flashed away from its view of the planet and zoomed in on a rocky, barren desert colony with a few scattered buildings, some of which looked like they might be damaged.

“There’s more coming in from the colony, Captain,” Uhura said, pressing her hand to the comm unit in her ear. “They’re reporting damage.” 

“Mr. Spock, has the seismic activity ceased?” Jim asked, and everyone in the room seemed to turn as one to look at Spock; Uhura went so far as to swivel around entirely in her chair and raise her eyebrows at him.

Spock stared back at Jim for a long moment, then glanced down at the science console. “It appears so, Captain. Perhaps we should send a landing party with a medical team,” he said. Uhura turned back to her console, and if McCoy hadn’t known better, he would have thought she looked almost smug.

“Right you are, Spock,” Jim said. He turned to McCoy. “Bones, assemble a team. I’ll meet you in transporter room two in five minutes.” McCoy was already on his way out.

When he arrived in sickbay, Chapel and M’Benga were waiting by the door, each holding a small travel med kit.

“Grab a kit, we’re beaming down to the colony, there’ve been – wait,” McCoy said, stopping in his tracks. “You’re ready to go already? How did you know what I was going to say?”

“Chekov commed,” Chapel said, at the same time as M’Benga said, “Mr. Spock let us know.” Chapel looked at M’Benga, and M’Benga looked at Chapel, and McCoy looked from one to the other, totally nonplussed.

“They both commed,” Chapel said. “One right after the other. They told us about the earthquakes, we’re ready to go.”

“O…kay,” McCoy said, shaking his head and taking the travel kit M’Benga held out to him. “Transporter room two, let’s go.”

Jim was leaning against the transporter console talking quietly to Scotty when they arrived. “Ready to go?” he said, turning to the medical team, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking up on the balls of his feet, looking excited.

“Let’s get this out of the way,” McCoy grumbled, stepping up onto the transporter pad. “And here I thought I might get a few more weeks of peace without getting my atoms all scrambled by this goddamn – ”

“You’ve got the coordinates, Scotty?” Jim interrupted as he, Chapel and M’Benga joined McCoy on the pad.

“Double checked, sir,” Scotty said, grinning. Jim grinned back, and McCoy frowned; everyone seemed pretty cheerful considering they were about to beam down to an earthquake-ravaged desert planet. 

“Energize!” Jim said, a little too loudly, and as everything started to fade, there was a commotion: Chapel and M’Benga jumped down from the transporter platform, taking their med kits with them. 

“What the hell?” McCoy cried as the scene faded away. He shut his eyes, hating the nothingness between one place and the other, and when he felt firm ground under his feet and a breeze on his face he opened them again, preparing himself for the stark, dusty desert they’d seen on the viewscreen just minutes before.

But there was no desert. He was standing on a grassy hill overlooking a sparkling blue ocean. He whirled around, feeling dizzy; behind him was a lush green meadow that went on for miles and miles, uninterrupted. If he hadn’t been so completely disoriented, he would have thought it felt almost like being back home in Georgia.

“What the _hell_?” he repeated, turning to face Jim, who was standing beside him and staring at him. “Jim – where are we? What’s going on? What happened?”

“Don’t freak out,” Jim said, taking a step forward and holding up his hands placatingly. “It’s okay.”

“Where’s the colony? Where’s the fucking _desert_?” McCoy said, his voice high-pitched. He felt a little bit like he’d lost his mind. “What the hell is going on?”

“Okay, I said don’t freak out,” Jim said, reaching up to rest his hands on McCoy’s shoulders. “There is no colony. There are no earthquakes. Everything’s fine.”

“Everything is _not_ fine,” McCoy said. “What are we down here for?”

“It’s beautiful, right?” Jim said, looking around as if appearing on a beach on what appeared to be a totally deserted planet was totally normal.

“I – Jesus Christ – I mean, yes, it is but – can you please tell me _what the fuck is going on_?” McCoy said. 

“Okay, now, don’t be mad,” Jim said calmly, thereby essentially assuring that McCoy was about to become extremely mad. “There’s no settlement here. There’s a proposed settlement, but nobody’s here yet. But you’ve been on the ship for weeks, and I just wanted to get you off the ship so we could – so we could talk.” He smiled hopefully.

“So we could _talk_?” McCoy repeated disbelievingly. “Are you out of your goddamned mind?”

“I’m starting to think maybe I am,” Jim said, a bit nervously. “Shit. I just wanted to surprise you, okay? It was supposed to be, like, I don’t know, kind of romantic.”

McCoy looked around. “Kidnapping me and taking me to the edge of god-knows-where was supposed to be romantic _how_ , exactly?”

Jim ran a hand through his hair. “You are actually the worst. _This_ is how it was supposed to be romantic,” he said, and he fell to his knees.

Or, on closer inspection – he fell to one knee.

“Oh Jesus Christ almighty, you are an idiot,” McCoy said, feeling the bottom drop out of his stomach.

“Yeah, I was worried you would say something like that,” Jim said, sighing. “Bones, you are the least romantic life form I have ever met. You give me a hard time about everything, you’re always grumpy, you nag me about vegetables and my wrinkled shirts, and you are basically a pox on everything in my life.”

“I thought I knew what was going on,” McCoy said, crossing his arms, “but now I’m insulted and kind of confused.”

“Shut up, I’m not done. You are basically a pox on everything in my life and yet, here we are. I am totally in love with you.” He grinned. “But you knew that. It’s not like I’ve been able to keep it a secret. And I know you totally, completely hate the institution of marriage because it already fucked you over big time once before, and you’ve told me that like a million times, presumably to try to prevent me from doing this thing I’m trying to do right now. But I also know that every time I perform a wedding ceremony on the Enterprise, you sit in the back and get kind of choked up and then get really mad if anyone asks you why you’re choked up, because secretly you’re a total softie and you’re really just disappointed that it didn’t work out for you the first time around and you’re afraid to try again.”

“Jim, I – ”

“Don’t argue with me,” Jim interrupted. “Just let me finish. If I’m wrong, you can throw it all back in my face later. But I don’t think I’m wrong. And here’s the thing – even if I am wrong, even if marriage is a totally fucked up idea and even if we are bound to fail, I want to try it. I want to try it with you, because I just can’t see myself ever wanting to try it with anyone else. And I’ll do whatever it takes – I’ll sign away my life, my ship, the whole goddamn planet in a pre-nup, and you know why? Because I don’t think it’ll matter. I think we’ll get it right. If – if you’re willing to try.” He reached into his pocket, fumbling only slightly as he pulled out a small box and opened it up to show two golden bands. “Whaddya say, Bones? Give it a shot?”

McCoy swallowed hard around the lump in his throat. “Shit, kid,” he muttered. “I – I don’t – you’re so – damn it, stand up, you moron.” He reached down and yanked Jim to his feet, then crushed their lips together, holding Jim’s face in his hands, his heart beating fast. “That’s a yes, by the way,” he murmured, letting out a shaky breath, and Jim smiled against his lips.

“Awesome,” Jim said, and he took McCoy’s hand from the side of his face. “Can I – ?”

“Of course,” McCoy said, straightened out his hand as Jim slipped one of the rings out of the box and pushed it onto McCoy’s fourth finger, the thrust the other ring into his right hand.

“My turn, my turn!” Jim said excitedly. McCoy laughed then, the tension leaking right out of him as he slipped the ring onto Jim’s finger. Jim wiggled his fingers in front of McCoy’s face. “Okay, you have to admit that this is pretty fucking cool.”

“Thats one way to put it,” McCoy said, leaning in to kiss Jim again. He kept their hands laced together as he pulled back and looked around. “It’s beautiful here, Jim. Reminds me a fair bit of being back home, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jim said, grinning mischievously. “That was kind of on purpose. Uhura and I spent hours researching M-class planets that had anything like the Georgia coast. She found it in the end, actually.”

“Uhura?” McCoy said, his brow furrowing as the truth dawned on him. “Oh my god, Jim. You got the _whole bridge crew_ and _my medical team_ in on this plan? You,” he said slowly, “you planned all of this to trick me into getting off the ship without putting up a fight.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You actually planted an image of some desert colony into the computer so it would show on the viewscreen – ”

“Chekov did that, actually, the little genius – ”

“And you got Uhura to report a fake distress call?”

“She’s quite the actress, right?”

“Chapel and M’Benga, on the transporter pad – and – and even Spock – ”

“I was so sure Spock was going to blow the whole thing, but he kept it together – and they say Vulcans don’t have feelings.”

“You took the Enterprise off-course by god knows how many lightyears, just to find a place that _looked like Georgia_?”

“What? That would be crazy.” Jim winked, kissing him on the cheek.

“Yes it would be. And on top of being totally batshit crazy, it would be a ridiculous abuse of power.”

“I can’t believe you would think me capable of such a thing,” Jim said, hurriedly pulling out his comm. “I’m a consummate professional, Bones.”

“And - Jim, are you telling me that they all know exactly _why_ we’re here – that they all knew you were going to propose before _I_ did?”

“Of course not! Enterprise, this is the Captain. You there, Scotty?” Jim said quickly.

“ _Scotty here. Are you ready to come aboard? Did he say yes, Captain? Everyone’s waiting to hear -_ ”

“Two to beam up, Scotty,” Jim interrupted, and squeezed McCoy’s hand a little tighter as McCoy opened his mouth in horror and they both faded away.


End file.
